Inspiration

My grandpa's old movie screen, in the studio.

I went to see HUGO the other night with my movie club friends. HUGO is the film version of Brian Selznick's graphic novel, The Invention of Hugo Cabret. When the book first came out, I chose it as a book for my son's book club. I was fascinated by what the response to a graphic novel might be from a group of middle schoolers who mostly just read fantasy and classics. William loved it, and so after seeing the film, my husband and I brought all the kids for our first family theater outing. It went remarkably smoothly, even with the twins' repeated bathroom runs, which were really just excuses to get out of their chairs, stretch their little legs, and explore the theater.

I loved HUGO. I'm not a movie critic at all. If a film makes me smile, I like it. If it makes me fall in love, I like it. There are very few films that I don't like, although I am admittedly not a huge fan of anything with blood and gore, and I will pierce you with my nails if you are sitting too close to me during a horror flick. Films, like music, inspire me. They stir the wells and make me want to create, write, and reflect. They make me feel alive.

This film is the most recent one that really sparked my creativity. HUGO is a child of remarkable insight, curiosity, imagination and ability, who follows his passions with a sense of determination and responsibility, with no one guiding him, and in doing so, makes the lives of those around him better. He talks about about the world being one big machine and everyone being a part of that machine, and how no machine has useless parts, so we are all here to do something, to contribute in some way to the machine...

I have put my friends through the wringer for the past six months. I have been asking them to help me answer questions about my life, that really, only I could answer. Why am I here? What should I focus on?  How can I achieve my lofty goals and mother teenagers and preschoolers at the same time? What is my place in the machine?

One friend told me, "Jocelyn, you have to do you." Another, "Stop worrying about what people think you should be doing and do what you want to do." And yet others, all saying the same thing, "Stop trying to help everyone else, focus on yourself." And I wanted to, but I am a sucker for an underdog, and how do you not help someone when you know that you can?

And the best advice I got was this: "The best thing a person can do to help everyone else is to do what they do best, what they love the most, the best they can."

What I love to do most? To help other people achieve their goals, and work in the studio. It's scary to commit to solely focusing on the thing that you love the most. What if you fail? What then, is there?

Screw fear. I'm working in the studio, and going back to school starting in February. I figure it will be good to restart my studio practice with a class, since it will keep me focused, get me back into talking art speak, and get me into Boston on a regular basis, networking, hitting the galleries again and seeing others work more, all of the things I had originally planned to do as part of this journey. It will also keep me accountable until my studio practice habits are formed.

As far as helping other people achieve their goals... more to come. For now, I have to finish up the current things I have committed to, namely,  the current Arts After Hours Production I Love You, You're Perfect Now Change, then, I am jumping back into the studio HUGO style: taking my place in the machine as a mother, writer, and artist.

xo
Jocelyn

Artist Socials

 Come out , come out, wherever you are!

We're throwing you a holiday office party. Well, really, we're just having one of the coolest smoothest bands around, Harvey Mapcase (Listen to "Three on a Match") , play for you at Turbine this Friday night, to kick off our first "Artist Social". 

We're going to do these events every month, starting with the Holiday Social, as a way for artists, collectors, collaborators, administrators, supporters, city officials, etc., to get together in the same room without overhead projectors, without surveys, and without limitations, and talk, chat, network, share ideas, spread some inspiration round', and keep those fires going!

Please RSVP and spread the word.

Friday, December 16th,
7pm - 9pm :: socialize, have a bite to eat, network
9pm -close :: Harvey Mapcase and shenanigans ensue

Bring your cards and holiday cheer!

Rest - Logging the Miles

Yesterday I finished the B.A.A. Half Marathon with over 5000 other runners. It was a good course, with lots of hills and shade, and even a short bit through the Franklin Park Zoo. It was my first half marathon. I had two set goals for the race and I accomplished them both. It was a good day.

I loved the moments before the race spent with my friend Nigel, who has been pulling me along through the training process. We drove to the race with our friend George, and another couple. Even though we were all running the same course, we all had different goals for ourselves. We were all running our own race.

When I was 13 and on my high school cross country team, I could barely bring myself to finish a less than three mile race. I always went out too hard, too fast, then would have nothing left to finish the race. I didn't set attainable goals for myself according to my own abilities. I just wanted to run hard and keep up with the more experienced runners. Of course, I couldn't. I hadn't logged the miles.

One of the most crucial things I have learned through training for this race is that rest is a necessary tool that I have never employed. I always want to push further and harder. Prior to this sabbatical, I didn't take breaks; I didn't say no to new projects, and I didn't see the havoc this pace was wreaking on my body and personal well being.

Last fall, I nearly collapsed. I ended up in the emergency room with one of my best friends beside me offering me an I-told-you-so glance and a quiet helpful hand. My adrenal gland was on overcharge, my hair started falling out in handfuls, and I lost a ton of weight. I have been trying to figure out a sustainable life pace ever since.

While running the 13.1 yesterday, I listened to my own needs and I was able to go the distance. I also paid attention to the runners around me.  I didn't throw my water cups near anyone. When I needed to take it a little slower because I was overdoing it in the heat, I made sure I didn't slow down in front of anyone who was coming up behind me. I moved to the side and let them pass.

I walked at water stations to make sure I got all the nutrients I needed to keep going. With one kidney in 80 degree weather, overdoing it was not an option. I walked with my hands up a couple of times when the swelling was too much until my hands stopped throbbing. That's ok. Important thing is that those little breaks allowed me to continue. By the end of the race, some of the runners who passed me were stopped on the side of the road, others were walking, and others were in the medical tent at the eleventh mile. others were running along side me. Some passed me, and others moved out of my way when they sensed me approaching. It was great to see other runners affording me the same courtesy of moving to the side and being courteous to not throw their gu when I was passing them.

Pushing myself to the point of injury or collapse is no longer an option. Knowing my limits, and planning to overcome them through dedication, continual training, and practice will keep me going. Rest will allow me to finish.

Right now, I'm resting. I'm reflecting, learning, and planning my new course. 

The work I started years ago through TLGUTS... helping to create a scene for visual artists in my home town of Lynn continues. I'm filling my cup, pacing myself, and planning to go the distance. And I'm not listening to the bystanders who are yelling, “there's only 400 meters left, dig deep, push harder!”, when I know there's a mile.

The last eight years of my life have been something like those early cross country races. The next eight, I plan to spend differently.

I've logged the miles.